For some, it will simply be the end of a project: selling or closing a business, finishing a major project, deciding to move on to a different stage. For others, it will be a heavy loss to absorb. What these experiences have in common is that of mourning.

We know that grief is often more difficult to experience for some of us. We also know that talking about it allows us to normalize our reactions and, by the same token, to experience it more healthily. That's why I'm taking the initiative to address the subject today.

Step by step: in order or disorder

First, the famous stages of grief that are often presented to explain the perfectly normal emotional reactions to loss. We now know that they are not experienced in the same way and in the same order by all individuals. There is therefore no prescribed order. I have even seen anger after reconstruction. It is not common, but it happens and it does not say anything about the seriousness of the situation.

Similarly, we must expect to experience different emotions that will have a very personal flavor, depending on our sensibilities and experiences. The context that leads to the mourning will also have an impact. For example, the shock (which is often the first step) will not be experienced in the same way when we learn that the bank does not want to renew our loan than when we find ourselves alone on the first Monday morning after selling our business. The emotional reaction is important in both cases, but its implications and our way of experiencing it will be different.

When the storm passes

The first stage is therefore shock . We learn the news. We take stock of the situation. This phase is often experienced as a threat and, consequently, we will often react in the same way as when faced with a stressful situation. We will then experience several symptoms of acute stress that are familiar to us: anxiety, stress, sadness, fatigue, irritability.

Then comes denial . A normal strategy to protect oneself. We cannot believe that the event is happening. This results in sometimes less appropriate behaviors: continuing to work as if nothing has happened (continuing to seek new mandates), not discussing the situation with the people concerned (not talking to employees), not seeking the necessary help (lawyers for the organization, psychologist for oneself).

Then comes anger, which often takes the form of blame (looking for someone to blame or a reason for what is happening). This stage can lead us to break bridges with colleagues and partners. It is important to be aware of our emotional state and act accordingly. Let's not forget that anger is an emotion that aims to regain control over one's environment. It is often a response to the feeling of helplessness — an emotion that is often very difficult for entrepreneurs to experience. This stage requires reflection and emotional support if it persists.

Acceptance

Then slowly comes acceptance . This moment when we accept the loss and resign ourselves to letting go of the object of mourning. This step often involves, for the entrepreneur, an assessment. What do I take away from this experience? What worked well and less well?

Finally, we talk about reconstruction . Starting a new life: a new business, a new project, a new challenge, and this, by drawing on the experience that the object of mourning has given us. I am therefore going to rebuild a new reality for myself. This may involve different relationships with certain people and even with certain environments. It involves adaptations, but it also has its charms and its pitfalls.

Ultimately, that's what matters: having a project . When you define yourself as an entrepreneur, it's important to keep in mind that you're always more than just a project. Projects come and go, have beginnings, middles and ends. But through them, the entrepreneur remains an individual who undertakes and advances projects. He can always undertake something else and through that, he will always remain an entrepreneur. His current project can be taken away from him, but he will always have new projects up his sleeve. That's what's at the heart of his expertise.