Door 6: the meaning

The last logical level of change, according to the classification of Robert Dilts, co-creator of neurolinguistic programming, the sixth door corresponds to that of "Meaning". It answers the question "Who else but me?", or "For whom or what else?". This is the deepest level, which houses our existential questions. It corresponds to the notion of belonging to a system larger than us, beyond our personal interests: family, business, community, country, humanity and even spirituality. This level is that of the Long-term Vision, which gives meaning, a purpose to our actions, to our Mission.

Experiencing this tragedy, beyond the pain felt, was for me a radical way to reflect on the meaning of my own life, the unsatisfactory aspects that I wanted to change and the means I used to achieve this.

Many things became clear when I went to Bali, Indonesia, in 2013 to join friends to celebrate the first anniversary of Yann's death. I undertook this symbolic journey alone, with only a backpack for a partner, stopping off in different countries.

It was the perfect opportunity to take stock of the changes made and the commitments made to myself and to the “greater than me”.

The Environment (where and when?)

The first leg of my journey took me to London, Great Britain.

I was led to ask myself the question of the 1st door : “Where and when” I wanted to be more aligned with what I wanted in my life?

I always saw myself in Quebec, in my current life. So I was in the right place.

Behavior (what to do?)

The second leg of my journey took me to Munich, Germany.

My thoughts led me to the question of the 2nd door : “What to do” to be more aligned with the environment in which I had chosen to evolve?

Continue to adapt my behavior and develop my power of judgment. I was doing the right thing.

Abilities (how to do it?)

I landed in Stockholm, Sweden for the third leg of my trip.

My question: “What strategies should we adopt” (question of the 3rd door ) to develop the desired behaviors and stay aligned with my life goals?

NLP strategies, such as Walt Disney's, would help me to successfully carry out my projects.

Values and Beliefs (why?)

The next stop was in Tokyo, for the fourth leg of my trip.

What were the “values and beliefs” that I could rely on to stay aligned with my projects and manifest the capacities necessary to achieve them? (question from the 4th gate ).

I successfully identified helpful beliefs and neutralized some that were harmful to me.

Identity (who am I?)

I completed the fifth leg of my trip in Bangkok, Thailand.

I questioned myself again about "who I really was" and what Mission I wanted to achieve in my life (question of the 5th gate ).

My Mission was clear, my Identity was clear. I was well aligned.

The Meaning (for whom or for what else?)

Finally, the meaning.

Bali represented the destination.

The emotion was strong when I reached this last stage of my journey: I then immersed myself in the universe in which Yann had lived so many adventures. I remembered our complicity, our discussions, our sharing about our lives. The Vision of a more harmonious world, making my contribution in my own way, as Yann had done so well, had given Meaning to my approach.

"For whom or for what else" I wanted to contribute (question of the 6th door)? So it was also for Yann and for all that he represented for me. It was in honor of our friendship and the immense happiness that he generated in the lives of all those who knew him.

That's when I crossed the sixth door. Once again, although gone, my friend had found a way to help me. He had been able to give meaning to what I was undertaking in my life. Everything was now well aligned. I had a clear Vision of what I wanted to do, in accordance with a well-defined Mission, in accordance with my values. All this, based on helpful beliefs about my abilities to achieve and my faculties to adopt the appropriate behaviors, in the environment of my choice. Finally, everything was there! Everything actually started from me. Fully committing to this process of change, going through the doors with confidence. This was only the beginning...

He had everything going for him, this lover of life, for whom family and friends represented his joy of living. He was the embodiment of happiness, which he spread around him without counting. Ten years after his death, I still haven't understood the meaning of his disappearance. On the other hand, he gave meaning to my life. That, I understood.

Yann has since rested in his rice fields in Cimaja, Indonesia and in the waves of the Indian Ocean, which he loved so much. I will be eternally grateful to him. He was able to help me cross the doors and inspire my life, as I hope to be able to do in turn for others.