HOW TO OPEN THE DOOR TO EMOTIONS?

Your emotions are your allies. Think of them as close friends who want you to be happy. When they visit you, they have valuable information to share with you. They want to make sure you’re not missing anything so that you can make decisions that take into account your needs, motivations, and values*.

Sometimes "your friends" may knock on your door at an inopportune moment; they may even irritate you. But that is never a good enough reason to "disrespect them by ignoring them."

Unfortunately, that's exactly what you do when you refuse to hear the message they're sending you...

The Danger of Burying Your Emotions

While welcoming emotions promotes well-being, the opposite is also true: suppressing one's feelings harms one's health.

I know that at times we all answer “I’m fine” when we’re not. But if “wearing a mask” is a recurring habit for you, know that there are consequences:

1. You are depriving yourself of support

2. You are exhausting yourself

It is very energy-consuming for your body to draw on your internal resources to block one feeling and artificially create another emotion. By repeating the exercise, you increase your stress level and decrease “your ability to cope with the normal stresses of life,” the key element of good mental health.

This is why this strategy is risky.

By the way, did you know that it is above all emotional exhaustion that is behind burnout? According to the definition of organizational psychologist and researcher Wilmar Schaufeli, burnout syndrome “is the result of prolonged investment in emotionally demanding work situations.”

Personal strategies

I invite you to embrace your vulnerability and express what is happening inside you. You will see how beneficial it is for your health and that of your relationships.

To communicate your needs and limits well, I invite you to learn about the concept of nonviolent communication by psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg. He offers particularly effective techniques.

Relationship strategies

Your attitude in relationships can have a positive or negative influence on others. We all prefer to express ourselves to empathetic people who make us feel good and understood. However, when we are faced with people who display discomfort with the emotional aspect, we tend to inhibit our feelings for fear of being badly received or badly perceived…

The first step is to become aware of your comfort level and the beliefs you hold about other people's emotions (what type of situation makes you uncomfortable? What reaction triggers you? Why?). You could then work on your ability to reflect emotions with key phrases such as: "I see that you ... (insert emotion), what would help you overcome ... (insert issue), would you like to talk about it again ... (insert time of your choice)?" These questions are helpful because they help the person take a step back and consider actions to regulate themselves.

WHEN WORK SUPPRESSES EMOTIONS

Some fields of activity encourage employees to suppress their “negative” emotions by demanding that they continually display “positive” emotions that are not really felt. Thus, they leave little or no room for the expression of these emotions. Think, for example, of everything that involves customer service and environments that demand very high performance. These work environments, if they do not offer suitable and constant support, are dangerous for the health of employees, but also for that of their company. The equation is simple: the more an employee represses his emotions, the more he is at risk of feeling dissatisfied at work. The more this feeling sets in, the greater the risk of burnout increases…

It is important to stop and determine whether your corporate culture and management practices are able to support your employees emotionally. Ask yourself: "Do the expected behaviors related to my organization's values leave room for the human? Are they exclusively performance-oriented? Do your managers have the necessary availability, openness and listening skills?" Based on your answers, you will have an indication of what deserves your attention.

I am convinced that the ability to relate to oneself and others can be learned. Indeed, it is possible to positively influence emotional, relational and organizational health through simple actions. From now on, what emotional intelligence skills will you make sure to develop first to take care of your colleagues and yourself?

* Emotions act as an internal compass. At some point, they can “lose their bearings” or always point you in the same direction, regardless of the context. If you notice that an emotion or thought is always present and is harming your well-being, I invite you to consult. Your internal mechanism may simply need “maintenance”.